A Whistled Testimony

Scrolling through the newsfeed on Facebook this afternoon, I saw a video of "Why Me, Lord?" performed at the Grand Ole Opry.  It brought back a sweet memory of going to Clark's department store on Ashley St. with my daddy.  He asked the clerk behind the counter for an 8-track tape by Kris Kristofferson saying "Kris Kristahfahson."  

He took the plastic wrap and thin cardboard sleeve off and pushed the cartridge into the after market 8-track player in his red 1965 Chevy pickup with step sides and a tailgate which closed with chains.  I loved that truck and I loved my Daddy.  He whistled in perfect pitch to the heart tugging lyrics, equal parts regret and gratitude.  

I watched and listened, mesmerized as we rolled down Jerry Jones Road toward the Phillips 66 station he ran on Baytree Road.  At home, there was fighting, cussing, and carrying on, but the atmosphere of this truck cab sanctuary, filled with cigarette smoke instead of incense, was different.   

I realized the day he bought that tape and I first heard "Why Me, Lord?" it was his testimony.  We didn't go to church and I didn't know the word testimony, but my little girl spirit recognized one all the same.  

When you live in a home full of uproar, you listen and observe a lot more than you participate.  It's safer that way.  Daddy never shared a testimony in the traditional sense, all remorseful and crying in front of a bunch of people who act like they're stunned at what they're hearing, knowing they've done many of the same things, but after years of hard living--heavy drinking, smoking, swearing, bootlegging, womanizing, at times violent--a strange calm settled on him.  

It was the kind of peace only the Lord can bring to a tormented soul.  

I'd heard a penitent heart cry to the Lord in his own quiet way, humbled, going to the only Source of all he needed on this earth.  Nothing else here brought him any level of peace that I'd noticed.  I learned as much about the Lord that day after a trip to a discount store as one could have learned in 10 years of churchin', my age at the time.  

Daddy's time was drawing near and Jesus, ever merciful, received him home the year following the song's release, 1974.  Here's his testimony, another man wrote it and sang it.  Daddy whistled it and I can still hear the trills if I listen closely.  

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g2u_rEcWW8M

Whispers, Lies and Reward

The demon assigned

to whisper

'No, you can't'

was 

overruled

by the Word

of the Lord

"I can 

do

all things

through Christ

Who

strengthens me."

And then

the demon

took the voice

of another

and said

'You can't.'

The piercing

went deeper

but

the Word

pierced more

dividing

soul and spirit

--asking--

"What

can man

do

to me?"

--and telling--

"I will

never

leave you

nor forsake

you."

In a rage

the demon

began

to lie 

more aggressively

in

the native tongue

of its father

but

the Word

more boldly

decreed

"A curse

without a cause

shall not

alight."

In a fury

the demon 

began to dig

frantically

a deep

pit

unaware

it had dug

its own grave

falling

headlong

fulfilling

God's promise

to His

beloved child:

"With

your eyes

alone,

you

shall see

the reward

of

the wicked."  

The Battle

The battle waged on
my spirit, my flesh
the minions were sent
to tempt, to assassinate
The Lord
to try, to purify
the choice was mine
all along--a lie!
Until I leaned on
rested in
and abode with
Him
I was defeated

Thoughts on Prime Minister Netanyahu and President Obama

It is dawning on me the source of the hostilities between President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu.  The United States is known as the super power of the world, but counterfeits exist where truth lies.  The title does not belong to the United States, but to Israel.  I heartily disagree with the manner our president has dealt with/is dealing with the prime minister, but it may be another step to boost Israel to its rightful place and position.  Perhaps the Lord does not want the prime minister seeking help from the U.S. for what He alone intends to grant His chosen people in the homeland He gave them.  

"The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water:  He turneth it whithersoever He will."--Proverbs 21:1

The president's heart has been turned in this realm and the foolish fall in line with him.  Nonetheless, I do believe the U.S. will receive due punishment for any help denied/delayed.  The prime minister will do much better to seek the Hand of the Lord.  
-----------
"Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.  May they prosper who love you."--Psalm 122:6 New American Standard Bible

To Believe or Not to Believe

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.  Romans 12:3 New American Standard Bible


...with the faith God has distributed to each of you.  New International Version

...according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.  King James Version

Operating on the belief in the Word of God, everyone has been granted the gift of faith.  What one does with the gift is entirely up to the free will God also granted to mankind.  

Some have taken this measure of faith and thrown it out as completely irrational.  And in a way it is, at least as far as what man can prove in a laboratory.   As there is much yet which cannot be proven by our limited understanding of Science, a most extraordinary subject authored by the Lord, faith can't be measured in a test tube, but those who don't reject it find that their granted measure only increases with regular use.

Unbelievers taunt believers as blind followers, telling them, "We have Science."  Placing one's own mind above the Mind of the Creator, they deem themselves demi-gods of intellect within a brain subject to deterioration, a mind subject to dementia and delusions.  Thousands of years ago, the prophet Isaiah (40:22) told us the Lord is enthroned above the "circle" of the earth, but because of a few people whose understanding was not yet complete, unbelievers sometimes dismiss the whole lot of believers as "flat earthers."  

As the enemy tried to use the Word of God to tempt Jesus at a time when He was in a greatly weakened physical state, unbelievers twist the Word of God and taunt believers with vapid statements lifted out of context of the entire Truth in scriptures, saying such hogwash as the Bible approves of slavery and demeans women.  Why in the world would the scriptures contain such a dramatic story as the deliverance of God's chosen people from the pharaoh of Egypt if such a state were condoned?  Could someone have convinced the woman caught in adultery, the one whom Jesus saved from being stoned to death, the Word of God incarnate didn't believe in equal rights?

One of the names of the enemy of our souls is "accuser of the brethren."  Unbelievers, of course, wouldn't for a moment believe the accusations they shoot from their mouths, from the anonymity behind a computer screen, are downloaded into their minds from none other than the one more versed in the Word of God than most Christians.  They don't believe what they can't see yet who they cannot see is exploiting their pride in their perceived intellect to badger Christians.  Worse yet, many Christians aren't doing their homework, using their measure of faith to ask the Holy Spirit for further revelation of the truths of God, and they try to fight a battle unarmed using the same weapon as the enemies of truth:  worldly reason, logic, and intellect.

If you are a believer, don't enter the battle unarmed.  Study the Word of God.  Learn the ebb and flow of the obedience and disobedience of man to God.  Follow His loving pursuit of the hearts of His people beginning with the prophets and culminating at the cross of Christ, the ultimate gift of redemption to mankind.  Be confident that the  wisdom of man is foolishness to God.  (I Corinthians 3:19)  The greatest of scientists cannot see gravity nor explain fully the vastness of the universe.   Unbelievers will say we can't either, but the scripture deemed the world round before its occupants fully understood this.  Could it be that the universe and everything in it are held together by the very Word of God, the same Word that spoke it into being?  

The substance beneath our DNA has not been discovered.  It would be difficult indeed to see the spoken Word on a slide under a microscope, yet my faith tells me in time this will be the ultimate revelation to unbelievers.  They are just as free to disbelieve this as I am to believe it.  My measure of faith is aligned with the Word of God.  What little has been proven by Science doesn't contradict but proves His Word.  Humankind desperately yearns to know, to feed the insatiable god of intellect, but God's Word to believers is this:  "Knowledge begins with respect for the Lord, but fools hate wisdom and discipline.

If you truly believe, seek the Source of knowledge, wisdom, and discipline in the operator's manual He gave us all through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.  Again, if you go to battle unarmed with this, you'll be soundly beaten and worse yet, in the unarmed vulnerability of ignorance of His Word, you may well be taken into captivity and held prisoner from the very One Who can save you.  Seek the Lord while He may be found.  Call on Him while He is near.  (Isaiah 55:6)  True believers won't be let down.  Weak ones will be strengthened.  Do not cast what is beautiful and precious before the swine of unbelief.  Know that the Lord desires to give good gifts to His children.  The ultimate gift He wants to give you is to know Him.  Go to the Source of all sound judgment, knowledge and understanding.  Why be convinced of anything or anyone less than He?   

Be Watchful

(written January 2014)

"Be watchful. A clear sign of someone’s character is how they treat people they don’t need."--Bishop T.D Jakes

Be wary of fair weather friends as well, those who lack courage and loyalty, but turn and run with the crowd.  When someone has meddled and undermined relationships with others and lets those actions stand without coming clean about them, forgive, but never lose sight of the fact you are dealing with a manipulator.

People operating in this manner have a way of letting the dust settle, communicating charmingly with you as if nothing happened, thinking it their right and privilege to resume relationship, when in reality those are the characteristics of a grace abuser. 

I've experienced this, held my peace for years, even when it was disclosed the party I reference was gossiping about me, veiling it as prayer requests.  

A dear friend who knows well the pain of "friends" running out when the social tide turned against her likened this type action to a spider's web.  The manipulator plucks strands of connection with friends or family or both with gossip and partial truths until only one is left, the one between you and them, achieving isolation of you, granting power to them.  They'll even try to comfort or counsel you in the predicament they arranged!    

Run from this emissary of the devil!              

Adding insult to injury, a person operating in this manner of deceit and control will try to turn the tables on a Christian, even using the Bible against them, sometimes trying to make one feel guilty saying they are the party in error for being in offense, causing strife, or holding a grudge.  

Make no mistake, reconciliation where there has been no repentance is not Biblical. Forgiveness and praying to God to bless your enemy is always in order, but we are to be wise and shrewd as well.  Until and unless a person acknowledges their role in dividing others, they will do it again.

Anytime my dear Grannie realized someone had done wrong to her, she would calmly quote in King James vernacular, "Vengeance is Mine, thus sayeth the Lord."  She'd follow by pointing out, "The Bible doesn't say you might reap, but you will reap."  My struggle has been in the wait time, but that was the lesson for me--did I trust the Lord to do what He said or not?

David, of Old Testament times, had to consciously make the decision to trust the Lord to deal, in His timing, with his enemy Saul's murderous intentions.  A person may not attempt to murder your body as Saul did David, but character assassination and alienation of affection are outgrowths of hate which the scripture likens to murder.

This was David's prayer of submission, entrusting right judgment to God alone. 

1 Samuel 24:12

"May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you."
         

It's What's In Your Heart

(written in 2014)

"It's what's in your heart."  

My favorite Aunt Gladys quote.  

Great-aunt, to be technical, and a sincere Christian.  

Too few of those.  

While many chose to defame my late brother who lost a war with alcoholism nearly six years ago, she chose to speak to him as Jesus would.  

Another woman, who was morbidly obese, commented, "I wouldn't live with Robert either."  

She was referencing his former wife, glomming on with other vapid gossips who felt superior to him because their sin wasn't as bad as his sin.

She professed to be a Christian, but I prefer Aunt Gladys' way of living out her beliefs.  

My brother had given a car to the large woman's husband, and he had put food in their freezer when funds were short for them.  

Aunt Gladys overlooked the failure of my brother's fleshly nature to ensure he was prepared to meet the Lord.  

The other Christian woman overlooked her failure of the flesh to judge his.  No mention of the contents of his heart.

His flesh failed; his physical heart failed, but his spiritual heart did not.     

He did a very kind thing for someone who would later revile him.

Like Jesus.

Matthew 7:16 says, "You will know them by their fruit."

Aunt Gladys said, "It's what's in your heart."

My brother was reassured and comforted by her words.  He knew what was in his heart.   

There are those who refuse to see what is in theirs and don't think their fruit is rotten.

On this first birthday of Aunt Gladys' in heaven, I think of her, I love her for loving the unlovely like Jesus would.  

She lived clearly and consistently and without hypocrisy according to what was in her heart--a love like Jesus'.

And my brother--he was originally scheduled to have heart surgery on July 31st, our late mother's birthday.  He requested a change in date in case he died because he did not want his siblings to have that painful association should the worst happen.

Alcoholic cardiomyopathy was the ultimate end of his physical heart, but the kindness and consideration of his spiritual heart did not fail.  

When people regard themselves more highly than the least of God's people, they fail.  Miserably.  And saddest of all, most of them are too filled with pride to see their failing, let alone acknowledge it.  

Gluttony is superior to alcoholism? 

Gossip is superior to alcoholism? 

Such is the nature of deception.  

Haughty arrogance caused the enemy of our souls to be excommunicated from heaven.  What else, but deception, could cause one to think that will not be their fate when they will not consider what is really in their heart.         

     

To Believe or Not to Believe

Surely all my mother wanted was a nice Christmas picture of me.  I remember this evening like yesterday, exactly what I was thinking of this imposter to an imaginary character.  There were two strands of beads, one white, one purple, which went with this outfit--I couldn't get around wearing this uncomfortable dress, but I did refuse to wear the beads.  I am six years old here.

When my kids were growing up, we didn't go along with Santa Claus, or the tooth fairy and Easter bunny for that matter.  It wasn't a rigid legalistic belief which precipitated this parenting decision.  It was a conversation with my beloved Grannie.  

When a sibling told her there was no Santa Claus, she was hurt deeply, not so much at the revelation, but that her parents had "lied" to her, the word she used.  I perceived through her storytelling, Grannie always told true stories, the hurt she felt so many decades ago.  Grannie never suggested that I not participate in this type childhood wonder with my children and she occasionally made reference to "Sanny Claus."  It was her truth, though, plus the fact that I had always been a Santa skeptic.  

From my earliest memories, and I have memories of wearing high top shoes with bells on them, I had put it together that my daddy took us kids to visit our other grandmother at the same time Santa allegedly dropped by with his stash.  As a tot, I grilled my mother about how he got in the house because we had no fireplace, no chimney for him to shimmy down.  I was aware, even as a very young child, of the inequity of gifts different children received, some receiving none.  

As an adult, I valued truth, and with the memory of my Grannie's disappointment deeply embedded in my heart, I did not want to do anything to shake my children's faith in their parents.  I told them other children believed and it was not our place to dispute their belief.  I'm not hinting or advising that anyone do the same, just sharing a memory.  

It was, and sometimes still is, surprising to hear the strong opinions of those who disagreed with this facet of our parenting, but it's something I have no regrets about, and I have no issue with the majority on this matter.  I was and am capable of believing in the unseen, and along that vein, my children received three gifts each Christmas, the same number as Jesus, the real reason for the season, and The Truth Grannie shared with me.  That I believed!  
  

Another Front Porch Meditation

Sufficiency
in the Lord
alone
Others, things
we hold
with open hands
That which
we grasp
we lose
What truly
sustains us?
Or who?
People
relationships
things
give temporary
joy and energy
soon enough
all
go away
What and
Who
are we left with?
How sad
we regard
Him
as the last
resort
The Source 
of our breath
and each heartbeat
oxygen and life
to every cell
sight to awe
at His creation
We are made
to rejoice
and be happy
fully satisfied
in Him
but we long
first
for what 
goes away
God in heaven
help us

Matthew 6:33New International Version (NIV)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Manipulation, Confrontation, Deflection and Freedom

ma·nip·u·late

  [muh-nip-yuh-leyt]  Show IPA

verb (used with object), ma·nip·u·lat·ed, ma·nip·u·lat·ing.

1.

to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.

2.

to handle, manage, or use, especially with skill, in some process of treatment or performance: tomanipulate a large tractor.

3.

to adapt or change (accounts, figures, etc.) to suit one's purpose or advantage.

con·front

  [kuhn-fruhnt]  Show IPA

verb (used with object)

1.

to face in hostility or defiance; oppose: The feuding factions confronted one another.

2.

to present for acknowledgment, contradiction, etc.; set face to face: They confronted him withevidence of his crime.

3.

to stand or come in front of; stand or meet facing: The two long-separated brothers confronted eachother speechlessly.

4.

to be in one's way: the numerous obstacles that still confronted him.

5.

to bring together for examination or comparison.

deflect  (dɪˈflɛkt)
— vb
	to turn or cause to turn aside from a course; swerve

free·dom

  [free-duhm]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: He won hisfreedom after a retrial.

2.

exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

3.

the power to determine action without restraint.

4.

political or national independence.

5.

personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

Over seven months ago, I confronted someone about manipulation, specifically gossiping in a manner which resulted in alienation of affection of several relationships which were important to me.  I gave detailed instances--time, place, and persons involved.  

At first, there was denial.  I was told that was my perspective, with the blatant implication it was skewed.  Then there was an apology.  Apologies are weak and lame without behavioral changes to back them up.  When the rubber met the road--I wanted this person and myself to meet with another party tainted in careless talking--the one who apologized suddenly vanished from the negotiation table.  Complete, utter, silent disappearance from communication.

Cue Cyndi Lauper, I saw true colors.  

Before the incriminating disappearance, an attempt was made to take the position of upper hand:  I was accused of being angry.  The offender was not angry, I was angered, thus I was in sin.  It was a manipulative deflection from a self-awarded position of righteousness. 
     

Of course I was angry.  Relationship after relationship was being meddled with.      

Bishop T.D. Jakes, of whom I have the utmost respect, wrote:

• Forgiveness is not overlooking, ignoring, or denying a hurt or an offense, and it does not require your anger to disappear.

People, anger serves the purpose of letting you and others know you have been violated.  It is a legitimate emotion.  When handled improperly, it leads to trouble, but feeling it in response to a violation--don't let anyone condemn you for a marker the Lord gave to sit up and realize something is very wrong.  A manipulator will absolutely try to take that power from you, anything to shut you up and take the heat off them.   

More from Bishop Jakes:

• Forgiveness is not excusing damaging or wrong behavior.
• Forgiveness does not rob you of personal power or exonerate the person who hurt you.

             The person I confronted spoke of tears and how hurt they were--that they'd been confronted!  If anyone in your life doles out relational abuse, deems themselves not responsible, then judges you for a legitimate reaction to their behavior, there's a serious, diabolical problem.  You have every right to separate yourself from this person until the behavior has been rectified.     

• Forgiveness does not trivialize your trauma or lessen the pain you have experienced.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting the hurtful or harmful things people have done or pretending those things never happened.
• Forgiveness does not mean you should restore trust in someone who hurt you or that you should have an ongoing relationship with that person.

This is where well-meaning Christians miss the mark, pushing people back to accepting relationship from abusers without requiring the abuser to show, take or have any responsibility for reforming their behavior.  It is ridiculous when one thinks about it in light of relationship with Christ.  After professing belief in Jesus and His main mission on earth, dying in atonement for our sins, there is the necessary acknowledgement of one's personal sin and repenting of it.

When someone places their behavior, their very being, above this, there is a name for them, a manipulator.  See highlighted portions above.  There are vast differences between forgiveness, restoration and reconciliation. Forgiveness is always in order for the Christian.  Always.  Restoration and reconciliation are dependent upon the actions of the other party.

    

So do you forgive a manipulator?  Of course.  Unequivocally yes.  To forgive means to release them into God's competent Hands, to not seek revenge, to allow God to deal with the person in His timing and in the manner He chooses, acknowledging that vengeance is His, He is just, and He knows the hearts of all men.  

Since we do not know the hearts of all men, we use wisdom to search for what the Bible calls fruit.  Essentially, what are the results of their life?    

If there is no demonstration of remorse or attempts to mend damage, nothing to evidence the person is sorry for the behavior or intends to do better, it'd be, well I hate to say stupid, but stupid it would be to re-invest yourself in someone who will surely continue to disrupt your life given the chance.  Apologies spoken to hastily end conversation, to restore one to the position of power to abuse, ring hollow.  That is also manipulation.  Listen for the echo--no change of behavior.  

Do you have to re-enter relationship with a manipulator?  No.

Must you forgive?  Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.  

Why?  

Also from Bishop Jakes, forgiveness...

• liberates you from your past and sets you free to embrace your future
• unburdens you soul of agonies that could infect every area of your life for the rest of your life
• relieves that emotional ache you cannot seem to escape, the one that holds you back when you try to move forward and weighs you down when you try to rise up
• takes a realistic assessment of the damage done to your soul, accepts that, and takes deliberate steps toward healing
• will release you to a new level of purpose, vision, creativity, vitality, intimacy with others, and success in every area of your life
• is essential if you are going to grow into the fullness of the person God created you to be--and it is indispensable to fulfilling your destiny
• is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself

And even more wisdom from Bishop Jakes:  "Most of the time, people who will disregard and devalue you to the point of committing a serious wrong against you or hurting you deeply do not care enough about you to apologize."  

  

Trust is to be given wisely, cautiously, and when broken, the onus is upon the offending party to earn it back.  Words alone don't cut it, though a declaration of intention is good if it is followed through with action to back it.  The Bible commands us to forgive, to release the offender and the offenses to God.  There are no passages commanding trust in man. Forgive, yes.  Love, yes.  And in cases of continuing abuse, that can be adequately done from a healthy distance called a boundary.

Pray a prayer of release for yourself and for the offender.  Say their name, releasing them and their deeds to the Lord.  Say it as many times as is necessary.  Bless your enemy.  Pray for their needs to be met, for the Lord to forgive them, for they surely don't realize the magnitude of what they've done.  Praying for someone softens your heart toward them so that bitterness does not flourish there.  If it has, repent of that, ask the Lord to cleanse you of it, and believe that He will do it.  Don't accept condemning thoughts from the father of lies, satan, and don't accept condemnation from a person who will not change abusive behavior toward you.
  

Walk in the light and love of the Lord.  Walk freely!  You were never meant to be imprisoned by another's actions on this earth, and refusing to forgive holds you prisoner in your own heart. Free the offender!  Free yourself!

Do realize that where there is not reconciliation, others may deem you to be unforgiving.  Let them have their thoughts.  You do not have to defend your right to free yourself from emotional, spiritual, physical or any other kind of abuse.  This is between you, God, and a person who may or may not wish to be in relationship with you.  

Trust that the Lord will show you when/if the time is right for restoration and reconciliation.   

Then keep walking.