Friday, January 11, 2013

What's Behind, What's Next

The virgin page, or blank screen, as is the 21st century reality, has not been faced by me in approximately 18 months.  Midway of 2011, I walked away from a newspaper column which had run for 12 years, blithesomely blowing an electronic kiss goodbye via e-mail.  

The same evening, I went to sleep on my front porch swing, an immeasurable weight off my soul so lightened me I awoke in the dark, discovered I'd been covered with a throw by a sensitive husband who recognized the deep sleep of relief and refused to disturb it. 

Sometimes, when it's time, no fanfare or discussion is needed.  To steal a popular ad slogan turned meme, "Just do it."  

I did it after a convergence of life events, good and bad, had completely overwhelmed me.  There was a time I could have, would have liked to discuss them all ad nauseum, but after extensive archaeological digging to figure it all out, and sometimes feeling like I've found myself at the point I started, I would like to proceed, no fanfare, to the place I am going.  

To catch up on the home front, precious husband and I are four months into our 27th year of marriage, both sons have graduated from the local university, both with a finance degree, one has married a nurse, and the other has been dating a nurse-to-be for over four years.  I have told the older son I'll do my best not to hint for grandchildren via his lovely nurse and the younger I've warned of my tears if he does not marry his beautiful inside and out nurse-to-be.  May I have the grace and restraint to abide by my intentions.  I don't want to be *that* mother-in-law or mother.

Professionally, my first book, "Lessons In The Moments", was published in 2011, and several months later I walked away from writing for pay, but once a writer, always a writer.  It's OK to let the well replenish.  Just do it, without guilt, if your life decrees that need.  Mine screamed for it.

I've been working on a certificate in digital photography, a pilot program offered at the same university from which my sons graduated, and am hoping to complete that by the end of 2013.  I have often said I'd walk away from writing in a heartbeat if I could make it professionally as a photographer.  I'm not so sure I meant that completely as there is a flicker in my soul of a collaboration of the two in my next book, "What I Really Meant to Say."  

No, no offer is officially on the table, but I dream.  I dreamed of the first book and it materialized.  I am not dead, therefore I continue to dream.  Giving legs to this dream, I resume practice on this blog with the same title. 

This is the most recent, relatively decent photograph of me, taken at my older son's rehearsal dinner.  A childhood friend of my son's, Jaimie Goss, captured my joy.  I am holding my sweet tea in a manner that reveals my fear of dropping it, causing a mess and a scene!